|| Ahalya, Droupadi, Kunti, Tara, Mandodari
This shloka from Hindu epic puranas says, remembering these 5 kanyas (virgins) Ahalya, Droupadi, Kunti, Tara, Mandodari every day, will destroy the great sins of humans. These are the 5 females mentioned in our Puranas as eternal Kanyas (virgins) besides marriage and bearing children. Why?
Because all of them were pure souls but sexually assaulted or used by the men in that era, they all got a boon that their virginity would be protected all the time and they are always called Kanyas, it is said remembering their names every day will destroy all the sin of humans.
Apart from all the contributions and sacrifices a woman makes in her personal and professional life, she is still discriminated against.
In these short series on women empowerment, I am describing 5 different kinds of women in society. You can correlate them with yourself or any woman of your family and friends, as these are the most common things which every woman is facing in this society.
Kashvi’s mother- Beta, it is a common thing, men do not understand how much women work at home. It is ok, some adjustments have to be done by women, so do not think much and take care of him by doing things as he likes.
Kashvi- But Mummy he is too much arrogant and rough, I don’t like it when he touches me and he have sex with me every day very roughly.
Kashvi’s Mother- Beta, you can talk to him about that and tell him to be gentle. He is your husband you must give him physical satisfaction, Men will become mad if they don’t get food and sex when they need it.
So easily a mother tells these things to her daughter and makes her adjust with an arrogant companion titled ‘Husband’. Every day we see and experience such incidents in one or other Indian families. Mothers sit and listen to each and everything their daughters tell but 80% of them tell their daughters to compromise. It is a part of life.
Her parents were financially not strong, so were unable to take care of their daughter, in that old age they spoke to their son-in-law when things gone beyond the limits. But he gave hundreds of excuses and helpless parents didn’t oppose and asked their daughter to adjust and move on.
Kashvi couldn’t bear that all for long and moved out of the marriage. She was less educated to take any job but she knew driving as her father was a taxi driver, she bought a taxi with her savings and borrowed a small loan and became an independent taxi driver. She was the boss of her life with that decision, and lived her life all alone instead of being a burden on her parents and getting stuck with another marriage to experience any other bossing and adjustments.
Note from Kashvi- Do we need such marriages to work where the woman is not respected, valued, and treated as only sex and childbearing machine, a maid to take care of home, and a cook to give food on time!??
Beware the way the opposite person is treating you, you are giving that person a chance for a lifetime to treat you in such a way.
Her Parents- Baby, you make your career but marriage is also important and everyone has to do that sooner or later, this boy is very nice you can continue your career even after marriage.
But soon after the marriage, she was bundled with a child, instead of working she sacrificed her job for her child, she didn’t wish to send her Lil baby to the daycare center, so to get better financially she helped her husband to attend trainings and complete various courses that she planned for herself, so that he get better job. Soon, she settled him with the higher package by applying for good jobs for him.
One day, Jenny went to a party with her husband, where her drunken husband said to his colleagues that “My wife is so educated, just wasting all her time by sitting back at home lazily scrolling mobile phone. She provided 0 to the financial growth of our family!”
Jenny overheard that and broke from inside in no time. She was ambitious to achieve something or at least financial freedom for life, but she was not given a chance to exhibit her independence.
It started from that day, Jenny moved out of the house by handing her son to her in-laws and started a new job with a lesser income to feel that financial freedom.
Remember, "If you sacrifice your financial freedom for your mate, it is OVER! You have to live life that is unpleasant for you".
Within two rings Palak answered her call. And they both spoke for a while talking all about what they missed in each other’s lives in those 2 years.
Palak- Very happy that you achieved so much, I always wished to study more to achieve my dream of being independent but my parents think girls need not study this much, it will be difficult to find such an educated boy in our caste. The funny thing is I don’t want to get married!
Aadya- “I understand, we both are sailing in the same boat”
Palak “Yes, but you at least achieved your dream! In my case, I am just doing household chores along with my mother! Sometimes I feel like life is stuck in all this. They give importance to my brother who is not even interested in studies or our family business. And I want to join the business and be independent but they want to tie me with some stranger who I never met.”
Aadya – “Seriously, the same parents who didn’t allow us to talk to any stranger in childhood, Ask us to get married and give our body, soul, and life to a stranger when we grow up! They never allowed us to go to picnics with school friends and when we grow up they send us to strangers' houses forever by tagging us as someone’s wife by leaving our own identity! They always told us we can't handle this and that, but they want us to handle the stranger's family! How pitiful and Hippocratic it is!
Palak – “So very true, Addu, you are talking like a philosopher sweetheart! I missed you and all your such talks. Why didn’t you give me a call?”
Aadhya – “I missed you too…The thing is I was running away from you and myself!”
Palak- “From me? Why?”
Aadya- “Well, I thought you might end up marrying someone and I wasn’t able to bear that all.”
Palak – “Hmm… thinking that you will miss me, you stopped talking to me before only haan?”
Aadya- “Not like that…thing is a different babe! I know it doesn’t matter but I think I love you! SO was making distance… But all these years I couldn’t stop thinking about you.”
Palak- “I knew that stupid! Why didn’t you tell me that before?”
Aadya -“What? Aren’t you surprised?”
Palak- “No, I always knew that and I have always loved you too!”
Aadya was shocked to hear that.
A few days later, Palak and Adya tried to convince their families by coming out but no one gave a damn and hurried for the marriage of both the girls. Aadya didn’t want to get married to a man, she was happy to know that her love of life was also in love with her. She decided to run away with Palak. They both lived in a new city, buying a small hotel on the beachside where they lived happily forever.
A note from Aadya and Palak- Many might think about how to break the hopes and wishes of parents who gave birth to us, raised us, and provided everything that any person needs but wants their children to get married for their reputation. If you are LGQIA (skipping Bisexuals and Transgender) try to come out to your parents by talking to them indirectly about sexuality to know their views. And when you are comfortable talk to them but before that be ready to move out of the house staying financially independent. As 80% of the parents do not support this whether they understand or not.
Naturally, in that case, instead of spoiling so many lives along with yours with a compromised marriage, you just have to move out of the house with no hopes and expectations from such elders who fail to support the sexuality of their children.
Afterall, everyone has a right to live happily in their life.
*
4 Bear assault?
Chandra- “I was teased by boys today while coming back home!”
Parents- We have told you a hundred times to wear some decent clothes by covering yourself! But you’ll not listen! Tomorrow onwards you change lanes while coming back home.
Chandra always wore Chudidar but they were sleeveless most of the time. The next day Chandra wore a saree and those boys gawked her as if they rape her in eyes only! There is no better cloth than a saree. Yet a woman is seen lustfully in that attire as well.
Millions of innocent girls and women get molested and raped in home, school, office public transport and hid knows which all places, these unfortunate souls get raped with no fault of theirs, but they ever get justice?! No!
As men who do such sin are never punished but enjoy their life to the fullest.
Time and era changed, but we as a society still leave such freaks freely out there who have mindsets of hurting women's respect. We blame the men who rape and molest women when it happens to others, but we shut our mouths when we experience that in our life or our close one’s life.
Chandra changed the lanes and wore various clothes to cover herself fully, by then also they teased her. She thought she was just wasting her time telling that to her parents or seeking help from anyone else, so she dialed 103 and filed a complaint against those boys and secured herself as well as many women who passed through that route.
Note from Chandra- Learn self-defense and stay protected. Teach your young girls to stay safe. Do not trust anyone easily and be aware and stay safe everywhere especially in public transports, parties and functions. Raise your voice and fight back if anyone tries to attack your dignity. Don’t be ashamed or scared as it has nothing to do with you, if the opposite person tries to harm you mentally or physically. A strong-minded woman can create a strong society.
Stop telling only girls what to wear and how to behave! Teach boys to respect women and girls no matter what they wear! A woman in saree or a small baby in a frock is also raped by the lustful men!
*
5 Drama of divorce!
After 10 years of hard work and dedicated time towards her work, Nitya got a promotion as Project manager in an MNC. She got wishes from everyone around her. But she knew the people who were greeting her had already given special comments by judging her hard work with the following comments-
‘She has done something to please the boss’
‘She has a connection from top’
‘She hypnotized the mind of Boss with her dressing’
‘She knows nothing and now we have to bend before a woman boss!’
Likewise, many such things used to break her internally but she stood strong. These comments increased a year ago because she got a divorce from her 15-year-old marriage.
She gave up her career after marriage by prioritizing her family. Took care of her child and husband for 5 years. And one fine day she wished to work for which no one objected in her family. But soon after joining the job, she started judging everyone from family to colleagues, as everybody saw her fault in everything she did. She bore years of taunts and one fine day decided to move out of the marriage, for that as well everyone blamed her for that unsuccessful marriage.
Nitya was working harder than any man in the company yet she was paid less than those men just because she was a woman. After 10 years of her career, now she got the salary that she deserves.
Note from Nitya- Why is a woman always blamed for an unsuccessful marriage? It happens with young widows as well; they are also blamed for bad luck since they lost their husband! Such women face the lustful eyes of men at work and everywhere! Whatever might have happened in the personal lives of these women, do we ever understand the pain they go through? Then who are we to blame them and judge them?
Why is a married woman labeled as lazy if she ordered food from outside, and a married man is called cool if he ordered food, people say he is so nice and not making his wife cook.
If a woman takes care of household chores and children it is her duty, but if a man does that he is ‘Mr.nice guy!
Why in marriage, if a woman demands sex she is a whore and sexually addicted and if a man demands sex he is your husband he has all the rights on you!
Marriage is not adopting a grown-up man and taking care of him as his parents were old! Marriage is all about equality and sharing every chore from work to emotions. If it is becoming one-sided then there is no point in sustaining that with all the sacrifices.
We speak so much about equality and woman empowerment but as an individual do we pay attention to that? The woman is suppressed and discriminated against in everyone’s mind whether a man or even another woman! Every individual collectively makes a society, unless everyone changes their mentality this sick society will not change.
Conclusion-
We celebrate women's day by dedicating a special day for her. I believe women should be celebrated every day for the selfless duty she performs silently.To every woman, believe in yourself and stop listening to all the ‘NO’s’ and judgments from your surroundings, and keep on moving ahead.
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